Anyone out there?

I haven't been on this thing in ages. I guess its still there though. I got an email from xanga so I figured I'd get on and see if anyone else ever uses this anymore or not. So...If anyone does get on and read this let me know. If not...then maybe I have no reason to even keep this site. Except for memories I guess. So let me know.  PEACE

mixed emotions

so months and months later. i just need somewhere to just rant and think and get things off my chest. so i just now talked to my mom and i might get to come back home sooner that i thought. southwest is running a special that coincides perfectly with our fall break. we have a four day weekend and id be able to go back to houston for most of it. now ive been getting kinda homesick lately. its been on and off a lot. its not good though. i miss home a lot. so if i did get to go i would be so happy. but i want to go to see chris. wed been trying to work out me going down there and the last issue with why i couldnt go was price. but now that obstacle is out of the way because of the special. but mom will pay for me to fly to houston. id fly home, no where else. and i really want to go home. i havent been there in so long i miss it so much! my friends, my family, my furballs, my house, my room, my bed! man it would be so nice. but if i go and dont see chris i feel like im not being fair or like i seem like i dont want to go see him. which i really really really do want to see him. its been longer since ive seen him than it has since ive seen my family. but i cant go see him. im going to houston. not the valley. ill be alot closer to him than i am now but its still far. he could fly up if he wanted. itd be like an hour flight. but money? yah. and my parents would probably not like me going home and then spending all my time with him instead of them. even though i do plan on going to see my friends that are still in houston. at least some of them. i miss them! and i know dj would kill me if i didnt see her. and nick would be really mad! and god just everyone. but i feel like chris is going to be really mad. like im betraying him or something because i want to go home. but its not because i dont want to see him. god i hate this. whatever. im going home. home. i just need a ride to and from the airport since they arent doing the stupid shuttle. i mean come on! fall break. four day weekend and they think people are going to stay here? what!? yah right! originally i wanted to go see chris. then that got vetoed. then i was going to go to kc. but now since i can go actually home id rather go and be actually home than kc. not that i dont love it in kc. rikki if youre reading this dont get the wrong idea. i love it there. i love the people and all the fun. but im totally homesick. and kc is a second home. its my home away from home. its great really. but i miss houston. but i miss chris too. great. im gonna pretty much cry now. i miss everybody too much. god i hate it. it would be so much easier if i had just stayed home and went to UH. but i didnt want to go there. i wanted to go to graceland. and i love it here. like today i loved my classes. and its homecoming week. tonight is airbands which is awesome! ah i love it im so excited! and then earlier today we had nacho cheese wrestling. and last night was lazer tag. and its awesome here really. i dont want to be at UH. but i want to be in houston. or closer to houston. and have a car and be able to go home if i wanted to or needed to. this is such a small town. its kinda hard. and i dont have a car. i cant just up and go where i want to when i want to. i can either walk into town or i have to find a ride to wherever. and i hat asking people to do things for me. i dont like it at all. if someone asks me to do something for them im all for it (most of the time) but i dont like having to depend on people. especially if it puts them out of time or money or something like that. but whatother choice do i have? i just need something to go really good for me right now. just something to make me really happy. i need that. god when i got out of class i was great. i had a good day, good classes. i was happy. and then i could go home? i was so excited. and now i just feel kinda depressed again. how do i get there? i mean from whats happened i should be estatic. i really should. well if i find a ride i probably will be. and after i talk to chris. which will be later today. when he gets out of class. only a couple more hours or so. not that long. but it feels long. really long. wow. i wish it was airbands already. cuz that is going to be great. i wish i was there. doing the pelvic thrust. lol. were doing the warp. its seriously awesome! its great. i wich everyone could come up and see us. but thats not at all possible. so hopefully someone will video tape it and i can get a copy. that would be good too. lol and then i can watch it later and laug at us. we are going to look rediculous. really funny. but its going to be good. and were going to win. i hope. but i really wouldnt be surprised if we did win. cuz were that good. yah. go khiponiville. im still not sure how to spell it. oh well. its khiyah, aponivi, and cheville combined. so whatever. go us. ok. well this has already gotten incredibly long and out of hand so im gonna go. find someone. see what theyre doing. hopefully have fun. so. see yas!

Currently Listening Take This to Your Grave By Fall Out Boy where is your boy tonight see related

summer

camp was so much fun. i got so much sun! i got to see a lot of people from last year that i hadnt seen since then. like brittney and alice. and i met some new people like brianna and david and krystle. i love my camp peoples. they are soo cool. we always have fun. except we were playing water volleyball and tommy broke two of his fingers and brittney sprained her elbow. so they both had slings on and stuff. but theyre both good now. tommy was playign softball last night. mom and i went to see him. they won 16 to 0. go them! it was fun. we had to have something to do. mom and i had to kill time while mand was at drivers ed. she started this week. so shell get her permit soon. im so jealous they have a mustang at the drivers ed school so shell probably get to drive it. i want a mustang soo bad! i would at least like to drive one. but no luck. my drivers ed school where i went had no good cars to drive. but whatever. i got my license and thats all that matters. except for now today is my last day to have my car. the tags expire this month and today is the last day of the month and were trying to sell it and mom doesnt want to pay to have it inspected. well actually dad doesnt. so im not gonna have a car for the rest of the summer. so that totally sux big time!!! im gonna miss my car. so. ive been working since i got back from camp. so like this is the end of my third week. its with my mom and my aunt. except my aunt is on vacation this week. shell be back next week though. on saturday me mand tommy maggie and olivia went to the beach. that was fun. except for the fact that i got a little too much sun. my face got red! gross! then sunday dena and i went to schlitterbahn. that was cool. we tried to get maggie or dajuana to come with us but neither of them did. the weekend was really good. this monday though i have to go get my teeth pulled. all four of my wisdom teeth. scariness! i am not looking forward to that. well see how bad it actually is. cuz its not like i have any choice in the matter. and the doctor says this is the best time to get it done. he better know what hes talking about. the fourth should be ok. i hope it will be at least. we dont really have any plans. maybe well go look at fire works. just me mom dad and mand. i hope we at least do that.  if any of you wants to go out or something let me know. give me a call. please!  someone! so im at work right now. i was on myspace most of the day yesterday. at least like half of it. gotta love a job like that. well i had nothing to do so i have to look busy. so being on the computer looks busy, right? lol thats what im doing right now too. i mean if theres any little thing that i actually need to do i stop and do it but theres not much at all. its mostly things that take like 2 mins. max. so much fun. maggie and i are going to the movies tonight!! were going to see superman. i think itll be good. most people have like it that ive talked to. chris said it was too much packed in there but oh well. ill have to decide for myself. and then tomorrow maggies going to see the devil wears prada. i might go with her. i really want to see that one too. and it comes out today! there are soo many good movies out. or coming out soon. i could spend like the rest of my summer at the movie theater. that would be interesting. id see a LOT of movies. ooh i got my address and phone number for college. so if any of you want it let me know. and give me any of yours. i have to leave on the 25th of August for school. me mom and dad are driving up. mand has to stay her cuz she will already have started school. and she cant miss it. i still need to call my roommate to talk to her. her name is terra. i hope shes cool. she probably will be but i dont want to be stuck with somene weird. or anything bad. and i need to go college shopping. too much to do. but right now too little. oh well. ive already written way too much about nothing.  so im gonna go. c you guys later!